Cid (lucidean) wrote,

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the annoyance of self discovery

Applies doubly so when it's something that flies in the face of almost
everything you brought up to think or believe about yourself.

When it's something you've known for what feels like years but you can
only now actually put into words. And even then only in your head,
can't bring yourself to say it out loud, not yet.

When you wish it wasn't true, but also know it's part of the reason you feel so lost and miserable.

I feel like I'm spitting on my mothers grave when I think about it. I know she'd be so disappointed in me, and I still have all the aftershocks of guilt and regret echoing through my head, it just piles up.
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