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Saturday, November 6th, 2010
3:44 pm
Do you have a CafePress shop?
Have you run into any problems with it?

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Sunday, February 14th, 2010
7:19 pm - I really need to update this thing more often...
Have started studying again! First up a short course on study skills that is a prerequisite for university prep course I'll be starting in March. I'm looking forward to it, I'll be studying ancient history and possibly going with that at uni, but am not totally sure. May go in a more sociology/pop culture direction. Who knows, I've got time to think about it. And plenty of time to freak out and calm down about how much debt I'll be in by the end of this.

Woke up sick yesterday but luckily the class study skills class is in the afternoon. Still sick today though. Fortunately I bought the DVD of the TV version of the Dresden Files and have now watched the entire season. Paul Blackthorne is a good actor and I had no idea that he's English and not American, but I still picture Harry as James Marsters in my mind. I haven't read any of the books yet but I have Death Masks as an audio book read by Marsters. I want the rest of the audio books now. The real, text ones too. But James just reads them so well. He's up there with Neil Gaiman when it comes to storytelling to my mind.

Am living in Stanmore now, which is nice. 15 minutes stroll from Newtown and many interesting shops and eateries. Definite upgrade from where I was before. Still wish I hadn't been forced to move though.

I really, really wish I had more Dresden Files to read/watch/listen to. It's nice to have a new fandom to throw myself into.

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Sunday, February 7th, 2010
4:56 pm - Another brief update...
Just enrolled in the uni prep course I'll need to do this year. I'll be doing ancient history, once a week on Tuesdays from march until September.
It's good to get that out of the way.

Now I just have wait for confirmation.

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Friday, January 15th, 2010
11:09 pm - A brief update on my life...
Due to ongoing flatmate drama I am moving to Stanmore. Tomorrow.
A longer entry will probably appear in the next day or two.

current mood: Ow! Fuck! My uterus!

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Saturday, September 12th, 2009
12:43 am - I feel so pathetic...
Was supposed to be helping out at RnR tonight. I got there ok and helped set up but I'd been feeling sick since the morning and news that the guy I like is now dating a tall, slender gorgeous girl didn't exactly make me feel all that much better. I got overwhelmed and had to leave eventually, did a Cinderella and ran off at 11:55.

Yesterday was my birthday, normally it's the worst day of the year for me, I always seem to be unhappy then. But it was different yesterday. I enjoyed the day and had fun, it was good. I guess the misery just got delayed for a bit.

It was the second anniversary of mums passing on the 6th and we're scattering her ashes on Monday. It's no wonder I feel like this, I just wish I didn't.

current mood: sad

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Thursday, August 20th, 2009
10:41 pm
Breathtaking Paintings and Illustrations by Yuta Onoda

Scroll down to Confusion; that's kind of how it feels when my blood sugar levels drop hard and fast. Horrible sensory overload and I just want to yell at the world to shut up.
Happened this morning on my way to work. Not fun
.



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Wednesday, August 12th, 2009
12:58 am - This is interesting...
I've always known touch was important, this is something I'd really like to learn more about.
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/11/science/11touch.html?_r=1&partner=rss&emc=rss

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Wednesday, July 22nd, 2009
7:29 pm - Writer's Block: Total Eclipse of the Sun
Solar eclipses, like the one visible in India and across Southeast Asia today, have often inspired violence, fear, and superstition in the past. What do they signify to you?
A reminder that we're just specks of dust in this solar system, one minute here and gone the next.
That the universe is bigger than all of us thinking otherwise is just plain arrogant.

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Sunday, June 28th, 2009
9:43 pm - This = Pure awesome.
DEFIANCE
see more Political Pictures

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Tuesday, June 23rd, 2009
9:30 pm
http://www.lilithgallery.com/library/The_Legend_of_Lilith.html

Go here and read up on Lillith, my new favourite former Goddess turned demon by the Christians.
When a prince was trying to woo her, by trying to kill her of course, she tricks him into marrying another man instead. My kinda lady.

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Tuesday, May 5th, 2009
10:31 pm
Had another sex dream about Gordon Ramsey last night. What the hell is wrong with me? I don't feel any attraction to him, not consciously anyway. Don't remember any details from this one, aside from that it was in Darling Harbour this time as opposed to Newtown. And the colours were mostly cool whites, blues, silvers and royal purple and lots of bright, clear sunlight.
 

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Thursday, April 23rd, 2009
11:52 pm
I had to get this of my chest 'cause it's just too weird to keep bottled up. Even at the best of times my dreams leave me feeling bugged and out of sorts but none of them have quite made me go WTF??!! like this one.
Starts out with me apparently involved in some sort of cooking/celebrity chef reality tv show. We're on some strange little cafe/art~y bookstore type establishment and my good self and the other contestants (only 4 or 5 of them i think...) are scurrying about the place making light cafe food and coffee and tea while the Celebrity Chef sits out the back with the owner by a pot bellied stove reading a newspaper.
Along the way people screw up as they are wont to do in these sorts of shows and Celebrity Chef throws huge tantrumy fits as he is wont to do. I screw up to at one point, though I'm not sure what I did wrong, something to do with a customer and getting an order wrong or something.
Celebrity Chef doesn't fly off into a fit with me though, I get taken out the front (which is oddly also out the back, but this is dream-space so doesn't really need to follow our rules) and assume the hands on the wall and spread 'em position as if I'm about to be searched. For some reason I'm still holding a cup and saucer of coffee in one hand, I can't say why but it seems really important that I am.
Celebrity Chef then fondles, gropes and generally roughs me up an a sexual kind of way while growling in my ear that this is in fact a reward for good behaviour and not a punishment as everyone thinks. They aren't allowed to know that however and I have to pretend I've been told off.
the dream winds up with me serving a cup of coffee to the owner out by the glowing pot bellied stove, he smiles at me when he takes it and over his shoulder I can see the Celebrity Chef nodding and smiling in an approving way.
The colours of the place where all this was happening were very warm, earthy tones in orange, red, yellow and dark forest green. All us contestants were wearing vaguely medieval/hippyish clothes in similar tones or all out black in a rough woven sort of cotton or hessian. Celebrity Chef was wearing his usual white and black uniform.
Now what's really confusing is I'm not into this particular celebrity chef, the only reason I watch his shows is for his impressive over-use of the word fuck.
The other strange, though positive, thing about this dream is that when I woke up from it and had gotten over the initial shock was that I felt really good. Like I'd let go of something that I'd been holding back, sort of lighter. Most of the time if I remember my dreams they have the opposite effect and I go though the day feeling on edge and uncomfortable. It made for a nice change anyway.

current mood: amused

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Friday, March 6th, 2009
8:46 pm
S0 once again I'm sitting at a padlocked computer in an almost clinical dirty white room the only entrance of which is through a seedy looking doorway and up some creaky old stairs. Bad radio is playing in the background and I'm surrounded by backpackers who don't seem to have washed in a while. Last March it was in London, this time it's Melbourne. Funny how these places, 24 hour internet cafes that is, all seem the same. And like last March it's mostly for the sake of Gary Numan. Mostly. As I found when I entered the airport earlier I have a deep-seeded love of travel and it all came rushing back. Airports, planes, hotels, internet cafes; all of it. Finding places I haven't been to before and feeling the atmosphere of a city I haven't seen for too long.
When I was a kid and we lived in Geelong we'd come here at least once a fortnight, a croissant for breakfast while watching Sunday in the morning, to the Alba for morning tea and a trip to the Vic Markets. Roughly in that order, I can't remember if the markets came before morning tea or after.
If this little sojourn continues like last March then I'm going to be bursting into tears at least once as I stumble across somewhere that reminds me of mum.

But back to Numan. The Sydney show was awesome. Totally and completely. I was up against the barrier and right in front of the stage. The set was a wonderful mix of old and new, with the mandatory Cars, Down in the Park and Are Friends Electric. He also played a new song from the hopefully up and coming album and quite a bit of Jagged and Pure. Including the song Pure which is one of my favourites. Found one person I met on the Replicas tour, Jim from America; train driver and president of the North American Gary Numan Fan Club, that was his 59th Numan gig and tomorrow will be the 60th.
I have to say I was quite jealous of his mic stand. The guy might be a grade A dork but damn is he sexy on stage! I just love the way he moves, not quite all out dancing but very nice to watch.

All I have to add to the above is that the hotel I'm staying at is lush and I wish I was here for more than one weekend.

current mood: awake

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Wednesday, December 24th, 2008
12:00 am
Whenever I see the word 'harem' the first image that pops into my mind is those huge, ugly, big nosed bull Elephant Seals trying to bite each other into submission for the right to mate with all the females around them. Giant floppy noses and eyes rolling to reveal the whites, head-butting each other and making huge HHNNNNGGGOORRRKKK noises.

I think I've been watching too many nature documentaries...

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Wednesday, December 17th, 2008
10:49 pm
I dreamed about my mother for the first time this morning. She was like she was before the cancer came back, before it really started to take her away. She was beautiful and she could move easily and without pain. I didn't think I could remember her like that any more, that it was too far back.
I miss her so much.

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Sunday, November 16th, 2008
12:51 am - Urgh
I have the flu, I haven't been this sick since I was in Japan. At least then I had the joys of a new and interesting culture to distract me, all I'm surrounded by right now is tissues.   ._.

I WANT TO BREATHE THROUGH MY NOSE AGAIN!!

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Saturday, November 15th, 2008
8:04 pm
Just checked out the new profile look, not sure how I feel about, it looks too empty, like I should have more things added or something...
But something jumped out at me; I've had this thing for 5 years now! I haven't been terribly faithful to it, but at least I haven't forgotten about it completely.

Things are moving along quite wonderfully in my life right now, but those details deserve a post of their own. Suffice to say I've finally had a taste of something I've been craving for years.

current mood: sick

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Thursday, October 23rd, 2008
9:17 am
Just got back from trying to walk to work. Do not feel good. My legs feel like jelly, my stomach like it's made from concrete and my sinuses seem to be filling with goo. I also feel both too hot and too cold.
My bed is making incredibly tempting come hither type motions...or maybe my eyes are just going wonky.
Either way: SLEEP!!

current mood: sick

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Sunday, October 12th, 2008
2:07 pm
Just tried to go get a hamburger for lunch.
YOU CANNOT GET A HAMBURGER FOR LESS THAN $7 IN CROWS NEST!!
This offends my sensibilities as a near broke, indebted cheapskate.

I went to Subway instead. Still cost $6.50. *grumbles* 

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11:58 am - the annoyance of self discovery
Applies doubly so when it's something that flies in the face of almost
everything you brought up to think or believe about yourself.

When it's something you've known for what feels like years but you can
only now actually put into words. And even then only in your head,
can't bring yourself to say it out loud, not yet.

When you wish it wasn't true, but also know it's part of the reason you feel so lost and miserable.

I feel like I'm spitting on my mothers grave when I think about it. I know she'd be so disappointed in me, and I still have all the aftershocks of guilt and regret echoing through my head, it just piles up.


current mood: miserable

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